5) The Dog in Me

I have been contemplating having a dog, wishing for a dog, hoping for a dog, and today I have a dog. She doesn’t leave my side. She goes where I go, hears my voice, and comes when I call. Her name is Gracie, and she is a solid black German Shepherd straight from the animal rescue center in town. A little piddle on the linoleum now and then is not such a big deal, I’ve found. She is a puppy, a big puppy, and a big responsibility. I've been wondering why I had such a yearning for a dog, and I've come to a conclusion. The reason for the dog is to keep my mind off other things like a divorce I haven’t filed, children who called me mom who I might never see again, and she certainly keeps me from drinking myself into a drowsy depression. I suppose that without the dog, I might be just fine. I might have more time to make the new house less boxy, as in full of boxes from the move. Without the dog, I might also be picking on Dad and his flaws all the time, or picking on myself, or getting obsessive/compulsive about cleaning the place. Since I have the dog, I have more time to myself, because I can’t really go anywhere for more than a few hours at a time. This gives me time to meditate on the most important things in life. What are those again? Oh yeah, happiness must be one. I haven't had that in a really long time.